Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Coming Full Circle

I Began the Ugly Pin Campaign upon my discharge from Torrance State Hospital in the early Spring of 2008.  I don't know, perhaps it was a way for me to fight back the horror my life had become.

In 2005, I was taken from my home and my children.  I would never return to that home and live with my children again.  I left my home that day in September of 2005 escorted by a policeman to a waiting ambulance.  The last thing I said to my 17 year old son was "I really screwed up this time didn't I?" He never said a word. 

In 2013 it has take me all this time to understand that, no I didn't screw up.  I did the very best I could possibly do with all that I had available to me at that time.  With all that was going on in my life and within my body I did my best.  Who could possibly ask anymore of me?  I had no more to give and that's okay.

It's not only the weight of Stigma from others we feel.  It's the stigma we put upon ourselves that's most damning .

May 2013, I have lived and live experiences beyond experiences.  Some I share and others I do not.  My life is still painful.  I still live within a broken and fractured system called "the mental health system''.  I think perhaps the stigma held within the mental health system itself keep people with mental illness from recovering.  Until they stop trying to fix us and begin dialogue with us the system will continue to hurt and stigmatize us more.

I called this post: Coming Full Circle because ...

I've learned to take all the bits and pieces of my life and use them to speak out and offer solutions.  I have spent the past 8 years in what I call intense study.  Now my experience, creativity and gained knowledge has helped me come full circle and create:
Dance in the Rain - Whole person Centered Care
A Platform of Recovery
You can link to the main website at:
I will be continuing with this blog and campaign as part of 'Faces of Stigma - Breaking Restraints'.  Also there will be a new ugly pin.  Same design but different medium.