Coming Full Circle

I Began the Ugly Pin Campaign upon my discharge from Torrance State Hospital in the early Spring of 2008.  I don't know, perhaps it was a way for me to fight back the horror my life had become.

In 2005, I was taken from my home and my children.  I would never return to that home and live with my children again.  I left my home that day in September of 2005 escorted by a policeman to a waiting ambulance.  The last thing I said to my 17 year old son was "I really screwed up this time didn't I?" He never said a word. 

In 2013 it has take me all this time to understand that, no I didn't screw up.  I did the very best I could possibly do with all that I had available to me at that time.  With all that was going on in my life and within my body I did my best.  Who could possibly ask anymore of me?  I had no more to give and that's okay.

It's not only the weight of Stigma from others we feel.  It's the stigma we put upon ourselves that's most damning .

May 2013, I have lived and live experiences beyond experiences.  Some I share and others I do not.  My life is still painful.  I still live within a broken and fractured system called "the mental health system''.  I think perhaps the stigma held within the mental health system itself keep people with mental illness from recovering.  Until they stop trying to fix us and begin dialogue with us the system will continue to hurt and stigmatize us more.

I called this post: Coming Full Circle because ...

I've learned to take all the bits and pieces of my life and use them to speak out and offer solutions.  I have spent the past 8 years in what I call intense study.  Now my experience, creativity and gained knowledge has helped me come full circle and create:

 

Dance in the Rain - Whole person Centered Care

A Platform of Recovery

 

You can link to the main website at:

www.danceintherain-recoveryinmotion.com

 

 

I will be continuing with this blog and campaign as part of 'Faces of Stigma - Breaking Restraints'.  Also there will be a new ugly pin.  Same design but different medium.

Where I am Now

I have moved on in my recovery and you can find me now at:
Dance in the Rain Recovery in Motion

A Sad Remark

One of the saddest remarks I ever heard was from a mother of a person with mental illness.  This woman belonged to an organization that was planning a picnic for its members.  The woman stated "I am with him all day I don't want to go to a picnic with him".

I have a mental illness would she want to go to a picnic with me, probably not.  I wonder does she not want to be around others with a mental illness?  I would think it would be good to go there, she would meet others struggling with the same issues.

 Believe me, I can understand the stress of being a caretaker I have a daughter with a mental illness and a son who has traumatic brain injury. 

Was her decision based on what type of illness her son has?  We will never know but if someone said that about me it would break my heart.

Statistics on Mental Illness

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), 1 in every 4 people, or 25% per cent of individuals, develops one or more mental disorders at some stage in life.  Today, 450 million people globally suffer from mental disorders in both developed and developing countries.   Of these, 154 million suffer from depression, 25 million from schizophrenia, 91 million from alcohol use disorder and 15 million drug use disorder.  *ASHA nternational*

With stagering Statistics like the ones above it is important to attack the stigma associated with mental illness on all levels.  Inform yourself about mental illness.

Mel Gibson / Jodie Foster "THE BEAVER"

The Beaver starring Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster opening in theaters this May 6, 2011.  Is an emotional story about a man who experiences major depression who goes on an internal journey to rediscover his family and re-start his life.  He can't seem to get himself on track until a beaver puppet enters his life.

As more and more major films enter the mainstream film industry it can't but help people understand mental illness and chip away at the stigma surrounding it.

His note reads " This person is under the`care of  prescription puppet.  Please, treat him as you normally would.  But address yourself to the puppet" 

Please let us know your thoughts and feelings about this movie and please suggest any other movie dealing with the topic of mental illness.

Socially Accepted?

A college competitive dance team chose to dress in straight jackets, frizz their hair and blacken their eyes for their dance costumes.  These sort of things are accepted as entertainment.  But they actually promote the stigmas that plague the mentally ill. What if someone you love was medicated and put in a straight jacket, you wouldn't find anything entertaining or funny about it.
Continuing to allow such practices promote the idea that mentally ill individuals are violent and "crazy".  Don't accept this as entertainment!  Look at it for what it is ... a gross portrayal of the mentally ill.

When You Lose Your Right to Make Decisions for Yourself

Just recently I was told I had to go the the er and have a psych evaluation.  If I didn't go then their would be "lights and sirens" they said.  Granted I was showing symptoms of psychiatric distress but I felt I could handle this at home and that was my wish.  To avoid any drama I agreed to the evaluation.  There I sat in the er for hours with a person assigned to watch me.  I was made to change into a johnny and told to stay in my little cubical.  After many hours the DMH worker arrived to evaluate me.  I told him I didn't want to or need to go to the hospital but he smiled and continued the evaluation.  I told him I wasn't a danger to myself or others the prerequisite for an involuntary admission.

When the evaluation was done he left to discuss my case with those he worked with.  I had a past and to be honest my psychiatric history was shaky.  But I knew this time I didn't hospitalization.  He returned and said they were going to admit me and begin the process of f inding a bed.  Their reasoning was when I acted like this in the past I was sent to the hospital.  He confessed to me that if there were any other alternatives to hospitalization I could have been sent there but there wasn't.  Why aren't there more alternatives available to avoid hospitalization?  The system has yet to catch up to the need I suppose.  So the section was enacted and the long wait for a bed started.

After many hours in my little cubical I was so frustrated and hopeless at that point my symptoms worsened.  Not because it was the natural order it was because of the stress I was feeling.  So it made matters worse for me.  Had I been able to stay home or sent to a respite the growing anxiety in me would have been lessened.  So I continued to wait in the er until the wee hours of the morning when I was transferred to a psychiatric hospital more than an hour away from my home.

The next day at the hospital I filed a three day which said either in three days they make a good case for me to stay in the hospital or I would leave.  Well a lot of good that did.  When the three days were just about up they said they didn't want me to go and that they would go to court and evoke their right.  The worst part was that it would take over a week to have my case heard and I would have to remain in the hospital.  So I had no choice but to rescind my three day and hope for the best.

It is hard to lose your right to make your own decisions.  So are they siding on the side of safety or are they caught within a system that needs changes?

What are your thoughts and experiences?  You don't have to be a member to reply to my posts. Are we stuck in a system that has misconceptions about those with a mental illness?  What are the stigmas?

Changing Your View of Depression

Freud pointed out that during bouts of depression the outer life may look empty, but at the same time inner work may be taking place at full speed.  Even this painful process can be honored as a necessary and valuable source of healing.  It is a time when we learn our limits -  " it may not be a conscious effort only; it may come upon us a s a captivating mood of depression, at least momentarily wiping out our happiness, and sending us off into fundamental appraisals of our knowledge, our assumptions, and the very pourpose of our existence". Thomas Moore Care of the Soul

... it is just something to ponder

Taking Control

After years of relapses and timely hospital stays I have finally found a key to my recovery.  Yes, you can recover from a mental illness!  It is something that you will learn to manage and meet with on a daily basis but the first step is taking personal responsibility for your illness.  By this I mean taking hold of the reins and not letting your life be lead by your illness, you have choices.  You can blindly follow or you can lead.  Once I accepted that it was up to me not others to make the changes in my life things started to happen.  Now you can find me re-cultivating my artistic side and most importantly my Spiritual Life.  On most days I volunteer at NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Cape Cod.  I have opened my life up to change and change is happening.

Don't define yourself or anyone else by their mental illness your only stigmatizing yourself and them.  People with a mental illness are perfectly capable of living a full and productive life.  For me I had let my illness take so much control over my life I nearly lost everything and that will happen no more.  I am in the drivers seat.  I now have an action plan to deal with daily life and how to respond to re-occurring psychiatric symptoms. I am not afraid of life anymore as a matter of fact I rejoice in it even though I have and had many challenges.

If you have a mental illness yourself or are loving someone who has an illness there is hope out there and slowly the conceptions of mental illness are changing but it takes time and effort.  I challenge you to join me in this fight for life and for control of a difficult illness.  You don't have to join this blog to comment on my posts, stop in once and awhile.

If you would like to see how I deal with my illness on a very personal and spiritual level check out my new blog at: http://mary-munsellthedoorwithin.blogspot.com/ read the welcome post and you will find how a psych hospital and a psychiatrist opened the door within me.

Please join me in this fight of acceptance in change.  Remember the change begins with each and every one!

Back At It

Surprise followed a curvy path back to the campaign. I no longer offer the pin at this time. I am looking to redesign it. More posts will follow.

Fall Newsletter

This years fall edition of The Ugly Voice is being put together now. If you have something that you would like included in this newsletter please forward it to: ugly.pin.campaign@gmail .com and write "newsletter in the subject area".

Have your voice heard.

Mental Health Loses a Great advocate

With the passing of Massachusetts Senator Edward Kennedy mental health loses a powerful and effect voice for change.

Kennedy was instrumental in passing the landmark legislation of the mental health parity bill. Kennedy has been fighting for health care reform since the late 1960's. This legislation has been the most progressive movement for mental health suffers in the past ten years.

We all say good-bye to the senator with saddend hearts.

A STATEMENT

We are a population of people with varying degrees of illnesses and illnesses themselves. Many times we are pushed aside and put in harms way because our illness cannot be seen through a microscope. We are stigmatized and misunderstood because of ignorance and fear.

This needs to stop. We are tired of finding ourselves on the streets, hospitalized or institutionalized because our outpatient services are cut to the bone. Many of our programs are hanging on by a thread.

These budget cuts negate the Olmstead Ruling giving us the right to live in the "least restrictive environment".

Find your voice, we need to ban together under a single banner "the ugly pin" and make a statement that stigma is wrong and budget cuts take away our rights.

Presentation

Monday February 02, 2009: myself, Mary Munsell (founder) and David Munsell did a presentation at Cove a clubhouse located in Harwich Massachusetts.

The presentation went very well. Our drive is to network with as many providers to the mentally ill as possible. The presentation takes between 15-20 minutes if you are a provider or an interested party within reasonable distance to the Cape Cod area ask about a presentation by emailing us at ugly.pin.campaign@gmail.com

The time is right especially with all the recent and ongoing budget cuts that are easily made due to the stigmas, misconceptions and myths surrounding mental illness.

How We Work Our Campaign

Networking and Word of Mouth is the best way we can start. I share the campaign with every mental health organization I come in contact with. I then ask if I can show my short power point presentation I have. It is only about twenty minutes long. I ask if they would like to join the campaign and also pass around our campaign products and ask them if they would like to use them as a way to fund raise for their organization.

We also offer a newsletter and other printed campaign material.

Over time I hope more people will join in the presentations and use the pins as fund raising tools. The more pins that get out there the more people will ask about them and the more chance we will have to tell them of the unfairness of the stigmas associated with mental illness.

Mrs United States 2008 has joined our campaign! She has promised to wear our pin on her banner during her reign! Mrs USA has dedicated her reign to mental health awareness focusing on the stigma. We are working to have her, her husband and daughter come to Cape Cod and join us in a seminar for the Ugly Pin Campaign this summer.

Where we stand tax-wise

We are currently working on getting a charitable IRS Tax Standing. This way we will be able to get a tax ID number,this will be happening in the near future.

We plan to re-launch the campaign in February of 2009 due to the move.

Please keep an eye out for your copy of the latest edition of "The Ugly Voice" if you did not receive one please let us know. If you would like to write an article for the next edition please forward it to us at the e-mail on the menu on the left. We also would like to see our members writing some materials for us to use in our presentations.

Lets use our voices and pens!

Newsletter

The January/February 2009 Newsletter is finally finished. I will happily send one out if you send me you email or snailmail address (the latter is much nicer and more personal).

We are growing and have added mental health budget cuts to our fight.

Lets hear from some of you out there. There is always room on the next newsletter and for our campaign material.

Wow the Seceret is Out

I went to a talk earlier this month and BEHOLD a mental health professional with some mighty impressive credentials spoke the unspoken.

There is a correlation with psychotropic drugs and weight gain. Sure tests say it may be only 1-2 lbs a month but put that over a twelve month period...12-24 lbs. Then add some other drugs to the list each with weight gain as a side effect. Then remember most of us are on these drugs for years.

Not only did he mention the medication but other factors like diabetes, cigarette smoking, high blood pressure, heart disease .... these are contributing factors. Plus you are probably taking mediation for that and they may have the same weight gain side effect.

He says psychiatrists get your scales out in the office and measure your patients girth. Prescribe some exercise too.

I am up over 200 pounds and it is a very hard battle to get the pounds to go in the right direction, down. I am glad someone finally is saying yes there is a connection here.

I Have Moved!

For personal reasons I have returned to Cape Cod. The campaign remains the same. If you need information in western PA please contact us at ugly.pin.campaign@gmail.com to be directed to the Representative in that area.

W are compiling our newsletter mailing list. I prefer to end out "hard copies" so please send us your mailing address as soon as possible. We still have time for a few more entries in our upcoming newsletter. Please we are interested in what you have to say. Send us an email at the address above. INFORMATION IS KNOWLEDGE

Can You Believe This?

It was reported that a Stonington, Conn. police officer "dumped a person he believed had mental illness on the streets of New London". The officer reported that it did not matter where in New London he left the man because he was "crazy" and we don't need him in Stonington.

That is wrong in so many different ways. As a matter of fact you can run into people with mental illness every day and not even know it. What would have happened if the police officer dropped off someone suffering from a heart ailment? What is the difference, both diseases are biologically based?

Things like this still happen because the stigmas are socially accepted views of the mentally ill.

How backwards is that especially compared to the new positive trend called; crisis intervention teams where they train police officers to deal with mental illness calls.

Lets work for the better and fight the ignorance of views similar to the one held by that Stonington police officer.