Tuesday, March 15, 2011

When You Lose Your Right to Make Decisions for Yourself

Just recently I was told I had to go the the er and have a psych evaluation.  If I didn't go then their would be "lights and sirens" they said.  Granted I was showing symptoms of psychiatric distress but I felt I could handle this at home and that was my wish.  To avoid any drama I agreed to the evaluation.  There I sat in the er for hours with a person assigned to watch me.  I was made to change into a johnny and told to stay in my little cubical.  After many hours the DMH worker arrived to evaluate me.  I told him I didn't want to or need to go to the hospital but he smiled and continued the evaluation.  I told him I wasn't a danger to myself or others the prerequisite for an involuntary admission.

When the evaluation was done he left to discuss my case with those he worked with.  I had a past and to be honest my psychiatric history was shaky.  But I knew this time I didn't hospitalization.  He returned and said they were going to admit me and begin the process of f inding a bed.  Their reasoning was when I acted like this in the past I was sent to the hospital.  He confessed to me that if there were any other alternatives to hospitalization I could have been sent there but there wasn't.  Why aren't there more alternatives available to avoid hospitalization?  The system has yet to catch up to the need I suppose.  So the section was enacted and the long wait for a bed started.

After many hours in my little cubical I was so frustrated and hopeless at that point my symptoms worsened.  Not because it was the natural order it was because of the stress I was feeling.  So it made matters worse for me.  Had I been able to stay home or sent to a respite the growing anxiety in me would have been lessened.  So I continued to wait in the er until the wee hours of the morning when I was transferred to a psychiatric hospital more than an hour away from my home.

The next day at the hospital I filed a three day which said either in three days they make a good case for me to stay in the hospital or I would leave.  Well a lot of good that did.  When the three days were just about up they said they didn't want me to go and that they would go to court and evoke their right.  The worst part was that it would take over a week to have my case heard and I would have to remain in the hospital.  So I had no choice but to rescind my three day and hope for the best.

It is hard to lose your right to make your own decisions.  So are they siding on the side of safety or are they caught within a system that needs changes?

What are your thoughts and experiences?  You don't have to be a member to reply to my posts. Are we stuck in a system that has misconceptions about those with a mental illness?  What are the stigmas?


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Check out whats going on in Worcester, I believe they have a consumer run respite program.

SMPsBeads said...

I have been in the same position several times, Mary. It makes me wonder if I should have ever asked for help in the first place. . . I wonder what my life would be like or if I would even still be living? I believe the Mental Health System is probably ten times better than it was 50 years ago, but it still has a long way to go. Thanks to people like you who can really articulate the problems you have encountered with the system and are proactive in raising awareness on the subject, it gives us those of us who feel powerless the voice we need. Thanks for your great encouragement and beautiful website!